Oddjobs by Heide Goody & Iain Grant

Author:Heide Goody & Iain Grant [Heide Goody & Iain Grant]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Fantasy, Urban Fantasy, Horror, Comedy, Birmingham, Lovecraftian, Humour
ISBN: 9780993365539
Google: tuCzDAEACAAJ
Amazon: B01GVT13XQ
Goodreads: 30519186
Publisher: Pigeon Park Press
Published: 2016-06-11T23:00:00+00:00

Rod rang and then knocked and then rang again. Then they waited a full minute.

“He’s not there,” said Nina.

“Or he’s not answering.”

Gary Bark’s dilapidated house stood on the corner of Bath Street and Bilston Street in Dudley. The lights were on in the Beacon Chippy & Pizza across the road and the smell of chip fat wafted across the road.

“I’m hungry,” said Nina.

“If I was as skinny as you I’d be hungry too.” Rod considered the door.

“You going to do some kung fu or Krav Maga on the door?” asked Nina.

“You can’t Krav Maga a door,” said Rod. “And no.”

He opened the side gate and went round to the rear of the house. He peered in through the kitchen window.

“Can we get chips?” said Nina.

Rod lay down on his back by the kitchen door, put his arm through the cat flap and felt his way up the inside of the door.

“You’re not going to fit,” said Nina.

Rod ignored her, found the key in the back door and unlocked it.

“Kung fu would have been more impressive.”

Rod brushed himself off and opened the door. There was crusty and uneaten cat food in a bowl by the sink and a fusty stink in the air.

“Single men,” said Nina, her nose wrinkling. There was a faint noise from further in the house.

“Television?” said Rod.

Nina shrugged.

“Mr Bark?” she called. “Gary?”

There was no reply. “Look,” said Nina.

Rod turned away from the fridge door, on which someone had left a note that simply read ‘474’. A pile of brown cardboard boxes stood in the corner of the kitchen. Nina had flipped the top one open and now held a familiar DVD.

“Mr Bark!” she called again. “We’d like to talk about your fish porn collection.”

Rod went out into the hallway and, following the sounds, went into the living room. “Flaming heck!” he exclaimed.

“What?” said Nina.

“Come have a look,” he said. “Just watch you don’t tread in anything.”

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